Breaking In, Never Breaking
by mamesikokua
Summary: Draco Malfoy must make a decision: to follow in his family's footsteps, or to carve out his own path and redefine his name. Which will he choose, and can he handle the consequences of his decision? Post HBP, eventual DMHG. please review!
1. Chapter 1: Decisions and Contemplations

Breaking In, Never Breaking

Disclaimer: The Harry Potter universe belongs to the lovely JK Rowling. I do not receive any profit from this story.

Summary: Set post HBP, non-DH compliant. Draco Malfoy is faced with the decision of his life: follow in his family's footsteps, or carve out his own path? How will his decision be received, and is he ready for the consequences?

Chapter 1: Decisions and Contemplations

Malfoy. So much was embodied in that one name. Six letters held so much power, so much meaning, and so much feeling. Mention that name in the wizarding world and immediately everyone would conjure an image in their heads. An image of wealth, arrogance, and power. Of cruelty, harshness, and intolerance. Of tradition and purity. Of evil, and darkness. Oh yes, Draco Malfoy knew what people thought of him. He knew they would have thought it of him from his very conception. "Oh, that Malfoy child will be just like the rest of them", they'd whisper and hiss. Draco had never truly cared what people thought of him. Why should he? He was Draco Abraxas Lucius Malfoy, heir to the Malfoy Estate and all that came with it. Let them talk, it wouldn't do them any good, and it couldn't touch him. He was above all of it, safe in his bubble of purity and power.

Safe.

Ha. Shivering in the damp cave, he couldn't remember the last time he'd felt safe. Oh yes, he was entitled to everything that came with being a Malfoy, including being a Death Eater. Draco stared at the mark on his arm, the blot that tainted his beautiful skin. He'd nearly pissed himself when he'd gotten it, overwhelmed by the pain and the meaning. He'd barely managed to walk away from the Dark Lord, his legs had been shaking so badly. Sure, he'd gloated about his blood purity, and sure he'd made sure to torment the mudbloods at school but… he'd never been all gung ho about the whole Death Eater thing. Why did one have to actually kill the dirty little things? Torment them: yes. Crush them: yes. Discriminate against them, make their lives hell: yes. But kill them…?

Snap. Draco was yanked out of his reverie by the reappearance of the man he'd come to fear and need: Severus Snape. Draco had never before feared the man; why should he when he could easily count on his father for protection? But then again, his father was no longer around for that. His imprisonment in Azkaban had made everything suddenly so real, so very, very real. Draco was left with no one to take care of him, except Snape; and Snape hadn't been all that friendly of late… Yet Snape was his ticket to freedom. They'd been in hiding for two weeks now, and Snape had decided Draco would have to seek asylum through the Order, and join them. Draco's subsequent spluttering had been swiftly silenced by a hard look. Snape was right, and Draco knew it. The Dark Lord had no use for him, and would kill him on sight. The Order was his only chance now; he had no idea how Snape planned to get them in now, but he didn't question the man, sensing that he shouldn't pry. Snape said they needed to stay out of sight for a while longer, until the members of the Order get over their immediate grief, else they would kill them both without hesitation. Draco understood this as well, but it didn't mean he had to like the prospect of spending another two weeks in hiding. Now, with about a month in the cave, Draco near his snapping point, and the fact that it was raining outside was not helping his spirit.

"Professor? Sir, I'm hungry and I'm cold", Draco said unhappily.

Snape barely spared him a glance as he drawled, "And you are telling me this, because…".

Draco blinked, thrown off for a second before replying, "Well, it's just that…well…I thought you'd gone off to find food or something…".

"Correct Mr. Malfoy", Snape said sarcastically, "But as you see, I have returned empty-handed, which obviously means I could uncover no sustenance. Honestly, boy, use your powers of deduction".

Draco bit back the angry reply in his head, instead asking, "Well, if you're not going to feed me, can you at least find any wood?"

"I beg your pardon?", Snape said quietly.

Something told Draco that the man didn't give a rat's ass whether or not he had his pardon, but he decided to keep that to himself. " I mean for a fire, sir. You know, some firewood? Will you go find any? As I said earlier, I am rather cold", Draco reminded. They had managed without fires thus far, but then again, it was summer and it hadn't yet rained.

Snape's eyes narrowed down to little slits, his dark eyes glittering through. "Oh yes, because Merlin forbid young Master Malfoy be _cold_. That would certainly mean the end of the world", he sneered, "Well, _dear_ boy, get used to the cold and the damp. There will be no such fires here, unless you want our position discovered by someone. We are laying low you fool. It would seem that you've spent six years at Hogwarts, and yet you've gained no idea of common sense."

Draco flushed with anger, retorting, "I'd watch it if I were you! You just wait, I'll…I'll…"

"You'll what? Go crying to daddy in Azkaban? That's were we'll both be if we get caught! Or perhaps you'd like to go to the Dark Lord? Tell him all about your failure to kill Dumbledore, hmm? You need me boy, and you would do well to remember that. Now cease your whining, before I give you something real to cry about!", Snape finished darkly.

Draco paled quickly, remembering that first, terrifying night on the run. Snape had quickly been driven to the edge by Draco's incessant hysterical babble, and had hexed him to get him to shut up; it had hurt, a lot. Draco glared at Snape instead of replying, then looked away, grimacing. The man was gaunt, and paler that usual. His normally horrid hair was absolutely lifeless. Always looking older than he was, the man now seemed to have aged even more. He had been ill soon after they had found the cave the first night. Thrashing about and moaning incoherently, racked with pain. It was the Soul Reaving that came with murder of someone as great as Dumbledore had been. The illness had lasted for a week before it abated, leaving Snape looking haunted and near broken. Unfortunately for Draco, it also made him meaner and moodier than ever. Draco noticed Snape clearing his throat to get his attention, and looked back up.

Snape stared at him, for a minute more before breaking the silence. "We will be going to Headquarters tomorrow, to face the Order. I was able to attain information that they are all gathered there at present when I was out". Snape paused, and drew his eyebrows together. "Prepare yourself for anything, including torture. This is war boy, and they will treat it as such. Moody, Shacklebolt, Lupin, Potter…they will not be pleased to see us, to say the least. You will speak when spoken to, or when I say you must. Otherwise, be silent. No insults, no sneering, nothing. Our lives will be virtually in their hands, and you need to realize that. Hold nothing back and be completely honest. Moody has a way of sniffing out lies, and they will probably use Veritaserum at any rate. It will not do for you to get caught in a lie. Go to sleep now, you will need your rest", he said lowly. His eyes were boring into Draco's fiercly, daring him to respond unfavorably.

But Draco kept silent, too scared to say anything. He was terrified out of his mind. They would see nothing but a Malfoy, and sentence him to death. They would not have mercy on him, and did he blame them? He _had_ tried to kill Dumbledore, and it was his fault he was dead. He had let in the Death Eaters, he had orchestrated it all. Sure, he had done it because he was scared of the Dark Lord, not because he had wanted to, but would that matter to them? They didn't know that he had wavered, that he had been unable to kill the old man. All they knew was that he was Draco Malfoy, and that was all they would care about. He didn't know how Snape was planning on getting them to listen, but he was certain he was going to his death, either by the Order's hands, or by Azkaban.


	2. Chapter 2: Fish Eyes and Tea

Chapter 2: Fish Eyes and Tea

_Danger. Danger. DANGER! Move, move, keep moving. No, don't stop, don't ever stop, or they'll get you!_ _Potter and his crew. They'll find you and tear you to bits, Draco Malfoy. They hate you. Hate. They'll kill you. Kill. Kill. DUMBLEDORE! No, please, no, don't make me…it burns, this mark. This branding. Tired. So very, very tired. Please, rest. Give in, give up, and surrender. Give up, give up, give up, GIVE UP!!_

Draco awoke with a gasp, glancing about wildly. His heart was beating frantically against his ribcage, as if it was trying to escape. "Just a dream, just a dream", he muttered to himself, "Just another bloody dream". His sleep had been punctuated by such dreams all night. Dreams about Dumbledore, about facing the Order. He tried to go back to sleep, but found it impossible. He was too on edge for any sort of peace now. He was covered in sweat and he could feel it drying on his skin, adding yet another layer of filth. He stared at his arms, wincing at their dull, lightly grayish color. He was so dirty, so disgusting. The fact that he'd gotten used to his own stench and could barely even register that he reeked was testament to his pathetic situation.

He sighed, and looked across the small cave; Snape was sitting cross-legged, hunched over. He was staring blankly at his hands, as if they held the answers to life's problems, or at the very least to his future. Draco snorted; perhaps they did, but they would never figure it out. He was sure Trelawney would like to give it a shot though, delighted at the chance to inform yet another hapless victim of their impending doom, telling them just how short their lifeline was.

Snape slowly raised his eyes to Draco's, and held his stare. His black eyes were full of something Draco could no quite name, but it quickly fled, and Snape's eyes became unfathomable once more; dark as the Abyss, and dull. They looked like the eyes of a dead fish, and Draco had go fight the urge to break his gaze.

"Well, I see you are awake", Snape said without a trace of emotion. "Good. We can set out soon, then. Remember all I told you yesterday. Expect nothing by the way of kindness from them. They have lost a beloved leader, thanks to us. We should count ourselves lucky if they grant us audience at all, much less believe us."

Draco nodded tightly. He knew what was at stake. At least he knew what was at stake for _him_. He was just the silly boy in their pairing. A Malfoy, a Death Eater, and the reason for the attack on Hogwarts, yes, but definitely not Dumbledore's killer and a killer. If he thought he was screwed, Snape was out and out raped.

"Come with me then", Snape ordered.

He led Draco outside the cave and into the woods. Draco once again fruitlessly wondered where they were; Snape had refused to tell him where he had Apparated them, claiming he had no true need to know. Lost in his thoughts, he failed to realize Snape had stopped walking until he almost ran into the man. Snape wordlessly held out his arm, which Draco grasped just as quietly. With a loud CRACK Snape Disapparated them from their home of the past month.

They reappeared in front a house, which Snape identified with a mutter as Headquarters. Draco tugged on his sleeve, asking "Wait. How do you know this is still Headquarters? Wouldn't they have up and left, after your betrayal? Wouldn't they be scared you'd rat the place out?"

Snape waved aside his questions, drawling, "Not quite. There are few places for them to make their base, and this happens to be the most convenient, the best. It took me a while to nose it out, but I eventually realized that Moody has placed the house under an odd, yet very powerful protection charm. I know not what it is exactly; all I know is that only those who have been Order members can see and enter the place. As it is, what you see is not Headquarters. It is a fake; Headquarters is to its left, and I can see it, though you cannot."

Draco opened his mouth again, only to be cut off as Snape continued, "As to the question of how they could leave themselves so open as to allow me to enter, well they haven't. I should have said people who have been Order members apart from myself. The place, I gathered, will more or less attack me should I attempt to get too close, and alert other Order members of my presence."

Draco gaped at him, then stuttered out, "B-but how…? How do you know all this?"

Snape snorted, but answered, "For the past two weeks or so, I have made myself useful. I have Apparated around, transformed myself into my Animagus form –- no, before you ask, I will not tell you what it is, and no other members of the Order do _not _know I am an Animagus, I'm unregistered…Oh, don't look so surprised. As I was saying, I transformed into my Animagus form and proceeded to wait until I could eavesdrop on some members. Now enough chatter, we've been out here too long. Remember, be calm"

Draco swallowed difficultly, wishing vaguely that he'd taken a piss before they'd left, so he wouldn't embarrass himself. He looked on as Snape waved his wand slightly, muttering to himself, as he performed what looked to be a series of protection spells. He then looked, clenching his jaw. He shot out his wand into the air, sending up green sparks and lights, which whirled around the air to the left of the fake Headquarters, making loud, high-pitched noises. Quickly snatching Draco's wand from him, he walked forwards swiftly, and after a moment's hesitation, placed the wands down on the ground. He returned to Draco, staring straight ahead.

Draco tensed, and tried not to fidget. He wished for all the world that he could have his wand back, but he knew why Snape had taken it and laid it down. It was a gesture of peace, and of trust, the equivalent of an animal exposing its underside to another. It was a smart move, but Draco felt odd without it, like he was missing a limb.

The two wizards didn't have to wait long; Snape's light and sound display had not gone unnoticed, and Order members rushed swiftly out of what seemed to Draco like thin air, wands held out warily. He recognized Moody, Lupin, Professor McGonagall, Arthur Weasley the Muggle-loving blood traitor, and, of course, the Golden Trio. They all slowed down as they took in the sight before them. Snape calmly put his empty hands out in front of him in a gesture of peace, and sank to his knees. Draco hastily followed his lead, taking in the expressions of the Order. They stared blankly for a minute or two at the pair, and then anger and incredulity sunk into their faces. He noted the anger seemed most present on Potter's face, followed closely by the Weasel and Lupin. But then again, the Weasel always seemed thunderous, so that came as no great surprise. Potter, however, was surprising. He looked not just enraged, but positively murderous. Granger's face, on the other hand, was empty save a vague look of surprise and foreboding.

Potter quickly stepped forward, growling, "Why you… I can't believe you two had the nerve to come here! How DARE you show your faces here! Traitors and cowards alike, the both of you! Pathetic dredges of humanity! You greasy sons of bi—"

"That will be enough Mr. Potter", Snape said, sounding amused, "We get the gist, trust me. And before the rest of you come to your senses and realize you should have already attempted to disarm us—honestly, werewolf, didn't you teach DADA?—I draw your attention to our wands in front of you on the floor. Obviously, they are meant to signal peace, so I would appreciate it if you would store that away in your minds".

Draco stared at Snape, shocked. The man spoke as though this was an everyday event and they were merely dropping by for tea, not as though they were in the lion's den. Small pulses of awe and unease ran through him simultaneously; he wasn't sure if Snape had balls, or if he was just insane. At any rate, it looked as if Granger was thinking the same thing. Weasley meanwhile, looked as though he were about to explode with anger.

Draco became aware of Moody growling, before spitting out, "That means nothing, Traitor! For all we know you planned that so we'd think you passive! Well sadly for you, we exercise constant vigilance, and hold no trust for scum like you. Now, everyone, together!"

Snape tensed and cursed under his breath wearily. Suddenly, all Draco could see were red lights shooting out of wands and coming straight at them, as cries of "Stupefy!" abounded. And then, Draco felt as though he'd been hit by hippogriff, and he barely registered Snape falling over next to him, as his world faded swiftly into black.


	3. Chapter 3: Torquemada

Chapter 3: Torquemada

AN: Sorry to take so long updating! School took up all my time but now it's SUMMER! :-) yay! I promise I'll try to write more now that I've more time!

Draco awoke with a start, jolted from his unconsciousness_. _He blinked blearily, trying to brush away the blur that seemed to cover his eyes. He realized that he was sitting down, in unfamiliar surroundings. With a surge of panic, he also realized that he was tied up. His legs were tightly bound to the chair in which he sat, as were his arms and upper torso. Draco tried to pull his arms toward him, hoping to loosen his bonds, and only managed to sting his arms as they rubbed against the rope. Sighing as he realized his bonds were magical, he took in his surroundings, and noticed Snape sitting next to him, tied in a similar fashion with even more rope. Snape was staring straight in front of him, unblinking, as if he was unaware of their predicament. "Snape!" Draco hissed, "SNAPE!! What did you do? Now look at us, you've bloody well led us to the fucking slaughterhouse! You…you…what were you thinking, pissing them off like that, and letting them take our wands, you great big overgrown bat of a wiz—"

"Well you've got that right, Ferret boy," came a hard voice behind them.

Suddenly, Draco heard quick footsteps and then felt himself being yanked around, coming nose to nose with Harry bloody Potter, the rest of the Order behind him. Potter's eyes were cold, and he had a cruel little smirk; something in Draco told him that he should feel as though he were being usurped, but he brushed that aside. Right now Potter looked as if he would easily Crucio Draco without hint of remorse.

"Now, now, Harry. We have guests; we wouldn't want the bastards think us uncharitable", Shacklebolt said coldly, as if discussing the weather, "We'll figure out what it is they thought they were doing coming here, before we kill them." He mirrored Potter and yanked Snape around to face him.

"Well, seeing as you asked so politely Kingsley, I'd be more than pleased to tell you. I came to check back in with my _beloved_ Order members, and I thought I'd bring the Malfoy boy along for the big reunion", Snape drawled.

A shout rose up from the Order members, and Potter launched himself at Snape, screaming, "You bastard! I'll kill you, I'll kill you! You fucking murderer, how dare you?!" Shacklebolt and Moody threw themselves on Potter, dragging him back and off Snape.

Snape—who, for his part, had looked vaguely amused—suddenly soured. His eyes narrowed into dangerous slits, and he smiled tightly. Draco remembered this look from numerous Potions class; it was the look Snape gave Gryffindors to communicate that if it weren't for Azkaban they would be long dead. "Well, if you're anything like you were the night we last saw each other, I dare say you won't be any more successful today than you were then. As to your accusation of murder, I suggest you learn to question things presented to you, instead of taking them at face value. It will be a skill you will require if you nurse a hope of surviving this war", Snape said acidly.

Moody's eyes narrowed. "What are you going on about, you snake? And be quick about it, before we let Potter loose", he growled.

Snape smirked slightly and replied, "Anything I have to tell you, you will not believe. Which is why I suggest you submit me to Veritaserum—I'll forgive you this once—and then interrogate me. It'll make everything a lot easier and quicker, and Merlin knows I've had enough of this nonsense."

Moody started at Snape, his magical eye whirring crazily. He nodded at Shacklebolt, who glared at Snape and quickly left the room.

"What's going on? What are you waiting for, kill him!" Weasely bellowed, "That greasy git Death Eater has long had it coming to him!"

The rest of the Order shuffled behind him as mutters of agreement rose out from their ranks. Moody raised his hand and the voices died down quickly. Draco noticed Snape's jaw clenching at the murmurs, but didn't know what to make of it; he was too busy concentrating on the fact that he seemed to be momentarily forgotten.

Shacklebolt returned with a vial of what appeared to be Veritaserum clenched in his massive fist. He yanked back Snape's head none-too-gently, and administered three drops of the truth serum. He backed away to rejoin Moody, eyeing Snape tensely.

Draco stared at his former Professor. His face had gone rather slack and his eyes looked dull. So this was what Veritaserum did to people.

"Severus Snape", Moody barked, "are you or are you not a Death Eater?"

"I am not" Snape replied flatly.

"Then where does your loyalty lie?" Moody bit out, amid the mutters behind him.

"I am loyal to Albus Dumbledore"

"Then why did you murder him you lying Slytherin?!" Potter screamed, conveniently forgetting that Snape couldn't lie under Veritaserum. Draco saw Granger open her mouth and then, thinking better of correcting the Boy Wonder in his rage, promptly closed it again.

"Because Albus requested that I kill him, for many reasons. The first being that I had informed him that Narcissa Malfoy had made me Vow to protect Draco in his quest to kill Dumbledore; had I refused to aid her, the Dark Lord would have grown suspicious as to the reason for my refusal. Albus also knew that Draco would not have survived the soul sickness that follows the act of murder, and so he requested I take Draco's place. You see, Albus had plans for Draco Malfoy, though he would not tell me what they were. Albus also knew that managing to kill him would place me in a position of great power if I played my cards right. Simply put, it served in the greater interest in Albus died by my hand, at my wand", Snape replied dully.

Draco saw the Weasel turning purple in his rage, in an interesting contrast to Potter's white face. The enraged red haired began bellowing, "You liar! You liar! Dumbledore would _never_…no, it's a lie!"

"No." Granger replied tersely, "He can't lie Ron, he's under Veritaserum. As hard as it is to swallow…he has to be telling the truth."

Moody's eye swiveled her way, before returning to Snape, whose head was now lolling forward on his chest. Moody stared at him for what felt like an eternity before slowly nodding his head. "She's right, he's telling the truth. Kingsley, we have to re-accept him back into the Order. We need him and the information he's given us for years. Dumbledore had his reasons, apparently, and he always trusted Snape here; we will have to as well. Lupin, see to it that Snape is placed in his own room again, and place a Replenishing potion next to him". Lupin nodded shortly as Snape's restraints vanished. He levitated his drugged body out of the room and out of sight.

"What about that one?" Shacklebolt inquired coolly, inclining his head towards Draco. Draco felt his stomach do a couple flips in the face of that cold stare. Gods, he hoped there was a chance they'd spare him…

Moody grunted and gave Draco a fleeting once-over with that stupid magical eye, before replying, "Malfoy will stay here, locked up. Snape has given him his protection, and so until he's back on his feet and of sound mind we'll see what worth the boy has to us. Until then, leave him here alone. I'll set up the room so that he can't slip away. For now, let's all go to bed and have a good night's rest. We'll need it…".

The rest of the Order growled, but didn't dare oppose Moody. Draco spied the Golden Trio glaring at him darkly, but they too left the room with the adults, leaving him alone in the dark as Moody turned the lights off. Draco didn't care that he was still tied to the chair and sitting alone in the dark; all he could think of was that he was still alive. He'd been certain that Snape was going to get them both killed. Who knew he'd had all those tricks up his sleeve? Whatever the case, he, Draco Malfoy, was as safe as he could be for now. He just hoped it would last…


End file.
